Hoy aunque todo siga igual
Y me mandes a callar diciéndome
Que tienes que dominar
O será el final
Y yo no puedo así
No tengo armas para enfrentarte
Pongo mis manos, manos al aire

That Particular Time

My foundation was rocked. My tried and true way to deal was to vanish. My departures were old. I stood in the room shaking in my boots. At that particular time love had challenged me to stay. At that particular moment I knew not run away again. That particular month I was ready to investigate with you. At that particular time. We thought a break would be good for four months we sat and vacillated. We thought a small time apart would clear up the doubts that were abounding. At that particular time love encouraged me to wait. At that particular moment it helped me to be patient. That particular month we needed time to marinate in what "us" meant. At that particular time. I've always wanted for you what you've wanted for yourself. And yet I wanted to save us high water or hell. And I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt. And in the meantime I lost myself. In the meantime I lost myself. I'm sorry I lost myself... I am. You knew you needed more time. Time spent alone with no distraction. You felt you needed to fly solo and high to define what you wanted. At that particular love encouraged me to leave. At that particular moment I knew staying with you meant deserting me. That particular month was harder than you'd believe but I still left at that particular time.

---Recorte---

Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name... Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name!

My god I feel so small...

What is this game we're playing? Should I stick around for more? Snap your fingers I'll come running and leave again when you're bored with me. I'll make it easy.

Férias

O B! vai de férias. Vou descansar que bem mereço. Volto dia 9. Aviõezinhos e cidades fora daqui. Lá diz a outra: I declare a full time out from all things commitment.

Lost

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm in a cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost
Every river that you try to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
And I'm just waiting till the firing stops
And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off

The moment I let go of it, was the moment I got more than I could handle. The moment I jumped off of it, was the moment I touched down...

- Wouldn't it be a shame if I knew how great I was five minutes before I died? I'd be filled with such regret before I took my last breath.
- You're willing to tell me this now, and you're not going to die anytime soon.

Joining you

you and I we're like 4 year olds we want to know why and how come about everything. we want to reveal ourselves at will and speak our minds and never talk small and be intuitive and question mightily and find god. my tortured beacon we need to find like-minded companions.

E não percebo porque não esmorece... Ao que parece o meu corpo não se esquece.

I am the biggest hypocrite. I've been undeniably jealous. I have been loud and pretentious. I have been utterly threatened. I've gotten candy for my self-interest. The sexy treadmill capitalist. Heaven forbid I be criticized. Heaven forbid I be ignored.

BRING ON THE TEQUILA! ON FIRE ON TEQUILA! HOSTESS MOST ON TEQUILA! BESTEST FRIENDS ON TEQUILA! OH!

These are not times for the weak of heart

The Nicest Thing

All I know is that you're so nice, you're the nicest thing I've seen. I wish that we could give it a go, see if we could be something. I wish I was your favourite girl. I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world. I wish my smile was your favourite smile. I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.I wish you couldn't figure me out, but you always wanna know what I was about. I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset. I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met. I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly, 'cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see. Basically, I wish that you loved me. I wish that you needed me. I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three. I wish that without me your heart would break. I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake. I wish that without me you couldn't eat. I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep. Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen. And I wish that we could see if we could be something. Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something.

Wait for you

I know you're trying to get around me baby. I know you've got me in your heart baby. I know that you could love me if you only had a guarantee. When I look at your face it's so empty. I know I could fill you with love baby. Your soul is dying for me. Can't deny our energy. And you're far I'm near you're there I'm here you're hurting for me I can see it in your eyes. Some of the hardest things are easy to achieve with patience. I'll wait for you until the heavens fall. I'll wait for you until the end of the world. I'll wait for you until I no longer breathe. I know that it's not impossible. I'll wait for you until you finish your fight. I'll wait for you until the timing is right. I'll wait for you until you knock on my door. Cuz right now it's feeling just like a movie yeah yeah... Just like a movie. I know that this is hard for you. Want you to know that I'm feeling it too. It's taken some time but now I see everything. It's so clear to me. I can't give up your love without dying baby. I'll wait until the sea is dry baby. How do we know what love is until it is free. You don't gotta do anything that you can't do. You don't gotta do anything in a hurry. You don't gotta do anything that you can't do. I know you're there you got me. You don't gotta do anything that you can't do. You don't gotta do anything in a hurry. You don't gotta do anything so don't worry. I trust you and I know you're there. I know you're there.

Pedacinho de letra...

... para a vida em geral: "That you give me no reason why you making me work so hard"

You see, ...

... I don't want to be what they meant all of us to be, shaking hands with the stale part of the mass that agrees with the lost kids and the loveless one, yeah I can look like them but I will never be one!

A change would do you good

If you never try, you'll never know. You gotta be bold. No second thoughs, no not this time. Yes, I'm ready to jump. I can make my first steps as a child of 25. I never really gave up on breaking out of this two-stars town. Wanna get on that plane and fly away. To hell with everybody else. Adeus, não afastes os teus olhos dos meus.

(you should open your eyes. make it easy to accept things)

To Give. To Get.

Às vezes vem-me uma fúria assim do fundo do ser. Diz-se por aí que recebemos o que damos. Não me parece que seja bem assim. I have as much rage as you have. I have as much pain as you do. I've lived as much hell as you have. And i've kept mine bubbling under for you.

(I'm not ready to make nice)

Chuva

Cantam os Ornatos Violeta: "Embora lave o medo que há do fim a chuva apaga o fogo que há em mim. Ouço a voz de quem me quer tão bem. E fico a ver se a chuva a ouvirá também..."

Momentos

No outro dia parei num sinal vermelho ali na Praça do Comércio e estavam umas pessoas a tirar fotografias junto da estátua no meio da praça. Lembrei-me de quando era mais pequeno e íamos passear em família e tiravamos fotografias junto dos monumentos numa de mais tarde recordar. Há muito tempo que ninguém me tira uma fotografia. Tive saudades daqueles momentos de simplicidade em que a vida era decidida por alguém e era levado pela mão livre de preocupações e responsabilidades e decisões para tomar. Uma buzinadela do carro de trás trouxe-me de volta à realidade do sinal verde. Pedido de desculpa com a mão, primeira engrenagem e no rádio ouvem-se os primeiros acordes da 'Try' da Nelly Furtado e eu cantarolo com ela: "All I know is everything is not as it's sold. But the more I grow, the less I know..."

(let's rearrange. I wish you were a stranger I could disengage)

(will you bring back all the things that I have failed? My inner smile? My inner peace? The so-called happiness? 'Cuz if you do... then maybe I could love you...)

(It's a traffic jam when you're already late. It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break. It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife. It's meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife.)

Estou além

Não consigo dominar este estado de ansiedade. A pressa de chegar p'ra não chegar tarde. Nao sei de que é que eu fujo. Será desta solidão? Mas porque é que eu recuso quem quer dar-me a mão? Vou continuar a procurar a quem eu me quero dar. Porque até aqui eu só quero quem quem eu nunca vi. Porque eu só quero quem... Quem nao conheci. Esta insatisfação Não consigo compreender. Sempre esta sensação que estou a perder. Tenho pressa de sair. Quero sentir ao chegar vontade de partir p'ra outro lugar. Vou continuar a procurar a minha forma, o meu lugar. Porque até aqui eu só estou bem aonde eu não estou porque eu só quero ir... Aonde eu não vou.

(I went to the doctor and guess what he told, guess what he told. He said boy you better try to have fun no matter what you do. But he's a fool.)

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon. Whistling a new tune. Hoping it would come soon... And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went away. And the sky was falling. And the clouds were dropping. And the rain forgot how to bring salvation. The dogs were barking at the new moon. Whistling a new tune. Hoping it would come soon. So that they could die.

Give me real don't give me fake!

Exercício

That YOU would be loved even when YOU numb yourself
That YOU would be good even when YOU are overwhelmed
That YOU would be loved even when YOU were fuming
That YOU would be good even if YOU were clingy
That YOU would be good even if YOU lost sanity
That YOU would be good whether with or without him.

Repetir 10x por dia. Um abraço. :-)

(Blame it all upon a rush of blood to the head...)

Don't wait, don't wait!
The lights will flash and fade away
The days will pass you by
Don't wait
To lay your armor down!

E logo em seguida... (Sing along)

That you give me no, that you give me no, well you give me no no you give no soul I hear you calling! Oh baby please! Give a little respect to ME!

P.S.: Estes dois posts são para o x4x_it!

Cry

And then she said,
- "What's that on your eyes?"
She touched me. Yes, I was crying.
- "For many years I've tried, but now I'm too tired to hide.
No reason why. Just need to cry."
And then she said,
- "I'm sorry I asked."
She kissed me and took this pain off my chest. Each tear that fell down vanished in the ground.
- "No need to dry. Just need to cry."

(Silence 4)

Sing along!

You see these shackles baby I'm your slave. I'll let you whip me if I misbehave.

Romantismos tolos de final de tarde na rádio

Entre por essa porta agora.
E diga que me adora
Você tem meia hora
P'ra mudar a minha vida
Vem vambora
Que o que você demora
É o que o tempo leva.

(You were my keeper. You were my anchor. You were my family. You were my savior. And therein lay the issue. And therein lay the problem.)

I'll keep you locked in my head until we meet again. Until we... Until we meet again. And I won't forget you my friend. What happened?

Time makes it harder.

In you I see dirty. In you I count stars. In you I feel so pretty. In you I taste god. In you I feel so hungry. In you I crash cars. We must never be apart.

Where has all the love gone?

(life is a paradox and it doesn't make much sense)

The Finish Line

The earth is warm next to my ear. Insects noise is all that I hear. A magic trick makes the world disappear. The skies are dark, they're dark but they're clear. A distant motorcade and suddenly there's joy. The snow and tickertape blurs all my senses numb. It's like the finish line where everything just ends. The crack of radios seems close enough to touch. Cold water, cleaning my wounds. A sad parade, with a single balloon. I'm done with this, I'm counting to ten. Blue as seas, running to them. I feel like I am watching everything from space. And in a minute I'll hear my name and I'll wake. I think the finish line's a good place we could start. Take a deep breath, take in all that you could want.

Sing along!

All the boys say: 'Hey baby, hey baby hey!'

Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life. How'd I get so faithful to my freedom? A selfish kind of life. When all I ever wanted was the simple things. A simple kind of life.

We hurt each other...

...then we do it again.

Às vezes, durante a viagem para casa, pelas estradas desenhadas com tinta branca e buracos, é difícil não deixar os pensamentos intrusivos (um conceito que aprendi há pouco tempo) tomarem conta da cabeça. E é sempre nessas alturas que dá uma música no rádio que parece encaixar-se em tudo o que estamos a pensar. E então, eu canto o que estou a pensar, por vezes com sotaque brasileiro: Em paz, eu digo que eu sou o antigo do que vai adiante. Sem mais, eu fico onde estou, prefiro continuar distante.

You lost me...

... in the the rear view.

My heavy heart...

... is made of stone.

(And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
You really broke my heart)

(Everyday there's a boy in the mirror
Asking me what are you doing here
Finding all my previous motives
Growing increasingly unclear)

(only if a ship would sail in. or just somebody came and knocked at my door. or just... or just something)

(You should have met me when I was sixteen!)

Hoje...

... acordei com uma música da Dido na cabeça. On a different day, if I was safe in my own skin, then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened

how fast we burn, how fast we cry. simple we live, simple we die. somehow we learn, somehow we cry. how fast we burn, how fast we die.

(teen angst - m83)

(corrigido)

Is there anybody out there who is lost and hurt and lonely too. Are they bleeding all your colours into one. And if you come undone as if you'd been run through. Some catapult that fired you. You wonder if your chance will ever come. Or if you're stuck in square one.

(well it's full speed baby, in the wrong direction)

(just one kiss. five. just one touch. four. just one look. three. just one love. two. forbidden love. one)

i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before. i've heard it all before.

(but i could never seem to say the things I needed to)

(nothing equals nothing)

(And you're crazy when you think that I will let you in)

(Fade in) Turu turu. turu turu turu. turu turu. Puntz puntz puntz não consigo dormir again. Puntz puntz. Time goes by so slowly. Puntz puntz puntz puntz não prego olho again. Puntz puntz. I don't know what to do. Turu turu. turu turu turu. turu turu. Puntz puntz puntz. So slowly so slowly so slowly so slowly so slowly. Turu turu. turu turu turu. turu turu. Puntz puntz puntz. (Fade out)

(Cause I don’t really want some good advice)